Off Topic: What Happens When I Write a Review

So, since I was in Hampton Beach NH last weekend, I wandered by the hotel "suites" that my family and I visited in late August of last year. It was the one I wrote a SCATHING review of on Trip Advisor. I would have had better accomodations in a Polish prison, I'm pretty certain of it.

As it is a beach resort, generally the accomodations there are a little -- um -- run down. However the prices for summer are mostly upscale. So there is a big difference between what you get and what you pay for.

This is how the place I stayed in August looked on Friday. See what happens when you screw with me? They say the pen is mightier than the sword. The internet is a blow-torch.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't just because of my review on TripAdvisor, but it felt good to see.

Ahhhh... Hampton Beach, NH. The only place where I would eat food that comes out of places that look like they are about to fall down such as Blink's. I was so happy that because of the Goo Goo Dolls concert at the Casino, they were open. And this is what you get for $3.25. A deep fried piece of heaven.

Or how about wood-fired brick oven pizza with a ton of garlic from a boardwalk stand that was smart enough to open at 11 pm for all the hungry post concert goers? Their pies were cut in sixths, not eighths. I was going to have just ONE slice, but when I saw how terrific it looked, my husband and I ordered four and walked back to the room at the Ashworth by the Sea. Almost better than Brooklyn's Casa Bella.

Of course there is the magnificent coastline that is beautiful even in really horrid weather. And then there is Markey's Lobster that I would probably make the 5 hour drive for alone.

Sigh. As often as I go is as often as I long to go back. But for now, it is Friday and I am going to be late for work. Too much day dreaming I guess.

Yeah, it's Spring!

Not Exactly a Day at the Beach

For some reason we love this place -- the country’s shortest coast line. Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. Maybe we love it because of the pristine beach and the clear water. Maybe because we feel it’s relatively safe for the 14-year-old and her friend to wander off. Maybe because it’s a cross between the Rockaways, the Jersey Shore and 1965. But we keep coming back. The trouble is we’re having a problem finding accommodations that don’t completely SUCK.

As most ocean front resorts, none of these places are cheap, but three trips and three different resorts that have been nothing like their websites portray. I’m starting to get annoyed. Last October we took our daughter and her friend to see four bands at the Hampton Beach Casino. It was actually her birthday present. We stayed in what was supposed to be a two bedroom suite at the Beach View Inn.

Well, it was more like a hostile. It had been one large room that they put a wall down the center that ran two thirds of the way and stopped. There was a narrow eating and cooking area with windows at the other end. At least there were two bathrooms in that hotel’s unit. There was also some half eaten pasta in the cabinets and some other food. Okay, some one was living in it and got kicked out when we rented it for $180 a night plus tax. But I’ve never seen a more run-down place used to house paying guests as I did this weekend. No… I did. Last year but I was trying to forget.

The really odd thing about this place run by The Royal Crest Hotel, is the bathroom sink is in one of the bedrooms. That bothered my daughter, so she and her friend took the larger bedroom.

The small, single bathroom had a standalone shower that I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping it from leaking into the “apartment” below is the ring of mildew on the lower seam. It took fifteen minutes to get any hot water in that thing and I gave up trying to get any out of the kitchen sink. There is only one television and it is in the living room. My daughter tried to yank it out of there and put it in their bedroom, but there was no cable connection.

There was also no internet service except for a small non-air-conditioned room three blocks away in their main hotel “lobby” and there was no phone at all in the room. (Yes, I almost had heart failure.)

There was one window air conditioner unit that was half the size needed to cool the place, but luckily the nights were cool and we weren’t there during the day.

We were given no extra blankets or pillows. Actually there were no blankets at all, just bedspreads. I had to go to the corner convenience store to get a fleece throw. Yes, the sheets and towels were clean, but I slept in my sweats and socks just in case there were bugs I couldn’t see.

The doors didn’t close right and there were holes in all the window screens. There was a clock on the wall that was in need of batteries since 1979 and none of the exterior lights worked at all. I had to buy a beach matt to put on the door as there was no longer a shade where it was supposed to be, so you could see right into the place from the exterior hallway. These were fine accommodations in any third world country. I felt like a Russian refugee. A trailer park would have been an upgrade. But the problem is I paid close to $900 with tax for three nights to stay in this place. I am not amused.

I’ll tell you, we are pretty easy going guests. As long as the place is clean and there are no bugs, we’re okay. But considering how my back felt this morning after another night sleeping on that bed and not even being able to handle another shower in that phone booth, I think I’m going to give up staying on the beach. Three strikes – you’re OUT. The Royal Crest was the last straw for me. I really am so angry I could spit. From here on in, I’ll stay in the mountains and drive the two hours down to Hampton beach and hang out for the day. Unless someone can tell me there is actually something there that DOESN’T actually SUCK!!